Daily Overview: Monday, April 10th

What a day. I’ve got big things in the works, but enough about me.

Throughout the day, patient experienced periodic episodes of very aggressive tics. Jaw, face, shoulder and hand.

Mainly after receiving very annoying news and a barrage of phone calls that all required quick problem solving.

Something of great relevance to note: During moments of hyper focus, I caught myself as I was starting to hold my breath several times today. I took active control of my breathing and noticed a sense of calm sweep over me. I think my breathing, or lack thereof could be an acute source of micro stress that I could better manage going forward.

With that said, I think this can be chalked up as the very first real-world impact I can accredit to daily Mendi sessions. I’m learning to be more aware of my breathing in general, and today it helped out. I call that a small breakthrough. Moving on…

It feels redundant to keep telling you that I filled out a questionnaire every day. Yes, I did that. It was great.

REALLY EXCITING STUFF.

I completed a few Acceptance and Commitment Therapy exercises too.

Here’s a conversation between my fiancé and I before today’s session:

Me:  “F***, I have to go do Mendi.”

Her: “Ok, go for it, baby. How long are you doing it for again?”

Me: “Six months.”

Her: “Six MONTHS?!”

Me: “…yeah. I guess that’s a long time, huh?”

There’s nothing you can’t do in life when you’re bad at math, set lofty goals…

and are perpetually the most stubborn person in the room. We’re doing this!

YGTSS SCORE: 29

I did some other things again too- like CBT training techniques.(3) Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques:

Technique: Diaphragmatic Breathing

Demonstration: “Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen. Breathe in slowly through your nose, focusing on expanding your abdomen rather than your chest. Exhale slowly through your mouth.”

Technique: Body Scan Meditation

Demonstration: “Starting at your toes and working your way up to your head, mentally scan your body for areas of tension or discomfort. As you identify these areas, take a deep breath and imagine the tension melting away as you exhale.”

Technique: Self-Compassion

Demonstration: “Practice speaking kindly and compassionately to yourself when you experience tics or related distress. Remind yourself that you are not alone and that it’s okay to feel frustrated or overwhelmed.”

DAY 5 SCORES:

BEST SCORE: (B) – Endurance

Over the course of 5 days, there are clear improvements in consistency and I am slowly gaining a sense of control over the device. I will work to make sense of scores over time and attempt to draw conclusions, once there is enough data. Simultaneously, there have been pitfall sessions in which I lost focus entirely and couldn’t seem to get back on board.

I will admit to you that my sleep has been less than perfect since the beginning of this study. It requires at least an hour a day, not including this report, and tracking my tics isn’t fun for me. Being overly conscious of my my tics is not something that is historically helpful at all. However, this IS for long-term benefit, not short-term comfort.

I’ll continue to remind myself what drove this. For years, I made every mistake imaginable in dealing with my TS. Despite rising awareness, treatment options are still very limited. There are many people out there who have limited resources, underwhelming support, no access to health insurance or hide themselves away due to the stigmatization of their disorder. It can be really easy not to get help. I should know.

It’s often said that “Tourette syndrome is a complex neurological disorder that is not yet fully understood.” If that is so, then one could argue that we should to be willing to try technologies that are not fully understood either. This tech is affordable, scientifically grounded, and if I’m successful, I hope my methods or insights will be helpful to others.

So…by day 5, am I starting to develop a new understanding of what it means to “focus”, or am I blindly dismantling and rewiring my pre-frontal cortex like a bunch of house hold appliances that I’m certain I can part-harvest to build a DIY Ham Radio? I can’t say for sure just yet, but I appreciate you joining me for the ride.

In all seriousness, I think there’s something to this.